The 6 o'clock news
by TigerHelix
Summary: Written for a message board for my cousins. Basically Knuckles goes insane, Astra tries to kill Shadow, Angel attacks people with a fryinI mean, wok, and Alpha...well, read and find out. OC OneShot


Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic the Hedgehog. I don't even ownm Alpha or Astra. They belong to my two cousins. Angel is mine though. Oh, and I don't own Ribena, straighjackets, Barney or the news. Well, 4UM I do.

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A/N: I got the idea for this from an e-mail my cousin sent me. I wrote this when she started up a message board for Sonic fans. I can't tell you the address because her dad won't let me, and frankly I don't see why I should seeing as how she stole my character. Anyway, me and my two cousins are part of this message board, and Alpha, Angel and Astra are our character names and profile names. **Alpha** is a** red and orange hedgehog** with **flames for quills** and he wears **jeans** and a **red t-shirt**. **Astra** is a **white hedgehog** with **light blue quills**, and **wears a cheerleading skirt** and **crop top**, **both white**. **Angel** is a **navy blue echidna** with **light blue quills** and wears a** black gadget belt** around her waist and **black skin-tight shorts**. I think that's all you need to know, but **the bold parts are for scanning. **Oh yeah, this is a **Astra/Shadow** story, but it doesn't really matter.

Oh, yeah, sorry if anyone who has me on author alert thought this was a Teen Titans fic. I'll put something in that catergory later. Maybe tomorrow...

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The 6 o'clock news

"Are you **sure** it looks alright?" Amy repositioned another quill, turning this way and that in the small mirror Cream was holding up.

"It looks fine Amy, honest!" The orange rabbit stood on tip-toes to look at her friend over the crescent-shaped, blue desk.

Alpha's cry cut their conversation short, "Half a minute, people! 29 seconds! 28! 27! 26!"

Cream rushed off the set as Amy, yet again, repositioned what, in the animal world, passed as hair. **Please look alright**, she begged mentally.

"5! 4! 3!"

She looked down at her notes….

"2! 1!"

Before gazing up into the camera. The **wrong** camera.

"Good day," the camera heard from the back of Amy's head, "I am Amy Rose, and this is 4UM news."

"Amy! **Amy**!" Alpha waved his arms around madly, keeping out of sight of the recording. "Wrong camera!"

She stared at him for a few seconds, before understanding what he meant. "Oh!" She turned to face the right image capture device, before continuing with her newscasting. "4UM is the fanfiction that takes local news, chew it up, then spit it out on a silver platter, ready to be served."

Off set, Vector stopped chewing his hamburger. He looked at it, turned slightly greener, then bolted for the door.

Back on set, Amy had to raise her voice slightly to be heard above the retching. "However, the creation of a new message board has set emotions wild. One of the many casualties, Shadow, was attacked by a frying-pan wielding Angel. Let's see how he's doing."

With a signal from Alpha, Charmy switched the image to the local hospital bed. Astra was sitting by Shadow's side, holding his hand in hers. Shadow himself was lying back, his head bandaged and his leg covered in a cast.

Astra stroked his forehead gently. "Sweetie, you okay?"

No answer.

"Shadow?" Her voice broke with concern.

Again, silence.

"NO! HE'S GONE! MY BELOVED'S DEAD!"

She sobbed into his chest. Shadow's eye twitched, and he waved her off. "Chill Samantha, I just want to sleep."

Astra paused, before looking up at the black and red hedgehog. "Who's Samantha?"

He realised his mistake to late. "Umm…."

She leapt at him suddenly, grabbing him by the neck and banging his head continuously against the headboard. "YOU TRAITOR! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! I THOUGHT YOU CARED!"

Back in the studio, Alpha slapped his head. Amy smiled at the camera. "Looks like Shadow's gonna be there for a bit longer, huh?" She grinned at the camera, before moving on. "I have here with me Angel, who **brutally** attacked the previously mentioned hedgehog with the saucepan. Angel, do you have anything to say about this?"

The navy Echidna just sat there, one leg over the other, her arms folded, head slightly titled down and eyes glaring at Amy.

The pink hedgehog didn't give up. "He could sue you know…"

Again, nothing.

"Attacking someone with a sauce-pan-"

Angel raised her head suddenly, sticking her chin in the air. "It was a wok."

Amy stared. "Huh?"

"I hit him with a wok."

"Why?"

Nope, she wasn't going to say. Well what was she going to tell them? He had caught her watching Barney? Like they were **ever** going to find out.

Seeing this wasn't going to work, Alpha gave Amy a signal. She caught on instantly. "And now let's go to Knuckles for the weather."

Again, Charmy switched the camera to another view. Knuckles stood, a cane held loosely in one hand, his mouth slightly open and him staring at the camera. His eyes were wide and un-focused. However, before anyone could do anything, he burst into rap.

"_Check it, check it,  
It's warm sunny day!  
With a soft gentle breeze  
Comin' in from the south!"  
Down in the west,  
The rain will pour,  
Making shiny lil' puddles  
In da street, yo!"_

No one moved. Working on impulse, Charmy changed the view to Amy. Or he meant to.

"DIE! DIE! DIE!"

Shadow had long since lost consciousness, but Astra had not given up. She continued to bang the hedgehog's head against the headboard. Finally, various doctors and nurses ran into the room, holding the screaming animal back. Alpha ran to Charmy's side and changed the view. To Knuckles.

"Grab him!" Tails and Big chased the scarlet echidna around the room, screaming at him to stop.

"Someone musta given him Ribena again this morning!"

Rouge walked up to the two **hopeless** boys and glared. They shrivelled back, scared of her gaze. She leaned over, switched to the right screen, then walked onto the set, standing in front of a rather disturbed Amy.

"I'm sorry," She explained to the cameras, "But technical difficulties have prevented us from continuing with the broadcast. Please remember that, wherever there is news, we will be there, but for now we must go on hiatus, thanks to the fact at least two members of our team are currently wearing straight jackets. Goodbye."

Charmy was about to cut the connection, but-

"PRETTY FIST COMIN' ARTCHA!" Knuckle's fist smashed into the camera, saving the bee the effort. Tails and Big grabbed him, struggling to hold him down, while Rouge walked back towards the two boys, ignoring the tussle behind her. "Well, was I good or was I good?"

Alpha scratched the back of his head. "Well, it wasn't **bad**, but…"

She glared again. "What?"

"You were looking at the wrong camera."

**LATER**

Alpha scratched the back of his head. It hadn't been **so** bad…. Granted, Knuckles had had an over-dose of Ribena before the show, Astra had tried to kill her boyfriend on-set, Rouge had tried to kill **him** and Angel turned out to be a Barney fan, but hey. So what if they had all ended up in straight-jackets. Wasn't his problem.

Unless…

He stopped suddenly, as four loads of laughter came through the door.

**EVEN LATER**

Alpha hung, tar and feathered from the studio satellite dish. There was sign around his neck, saying:

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO WHOEVER TRIES TO PUT KNUCKLES, ASTRA, ROUGE OR ANGEL IN STRAIGHT JACKETS.

He sighed. He was dreading the 10 o'clock news recap.

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A/N: Well, you like? It might only be a one-shot, but I might add other one-shots. I dunno. Review?

TigerHelix


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